he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
