So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
