Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She bit a glass in half.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize