Christians are straight up FREAKS
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
