It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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