his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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