He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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