WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
