I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
