ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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