This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
