he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
