The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
