tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
