my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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