ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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