You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
