No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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