I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Apparently you make a good broom.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
