Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
