just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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