she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
