So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
