Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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