when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
