I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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