Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
