i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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