You really coming over, don't trick.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
