I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
