I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i need some magic done to my vagina
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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