girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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