That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
