sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
