And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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