You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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