I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
