Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
