The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
