Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
