I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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