So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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