Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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