Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so let's talk penis.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
