dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
