i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
