My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
