I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
