people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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