I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
