I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
