How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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