Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
