i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
