I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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