just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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