2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just threw up on my dentist
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I FOUND THE LEGS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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