There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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