I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
