They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
