You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
