It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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