U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
