Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
