You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
