she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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