Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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