It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
