What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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